Side Effects
by divakat
Summary: Cal has a backache and switches Vicodin for Viagra. Hilarity ensues. Very naughty hilarity. *M for a good reason as always*


**Happy Smutastic Saturday!**

**This is a true PWP cracksmut fic which is unusual for me. I don't ususally do fic without working on the ship a bit but this one was just too much fun to weigh down with feelings! Trust me, I don't think you'll be disappointed. Lots of dialoge and (I hope) decent characterization (in the beginning at least).**

**Don't own Lie to me but if I did i would be asking WhereintheworldisTimRoth ?**

* * *

><p>"Em! Have you seen my glasses?" Cal called down the hall.<p>

"Did you try the top of your head?" the disembodied voice of his daughter answered from her bedroom.

"Don't be cheeky. The problem with losing my glasses is that I _need _my glasses to find them. A little help here Em?" he whined impatiently.

Emily emerged from her bedroom, toting her backpack and tugging on a sweater as she prepared to depart for school. "Where did you have them last?" she asked.

"If I could remember that I wouldn't need your help," he sighed.

"Maybe you left them at work," she offered.

He thought about this for a moment and realized the idea was completely plausible. "Alright, off you go. If you see them on the way out, give us a yell, eh?"

She hugged him and he kissed the top of her head. No matter how old she got, her sweet fragrance still sent paternal pangs straight to his heart. He watched her leave and then turned back to his medicine cabinet.

He squinted at the row of identical vials before selecting Vicodin for the pain in his back that refused to go away this morning no matter how much he stretched. He was beginning to think moving the living room furniture around with Emily the night before had not been such a great idea after all. He quickly popped two of the pills and washed them down with a glass of water before replacing the vial in the cabinet.

He finished scrubbing his face and teeth and turned to leave. Thinking better of it at the last minute he opened the cabinet again and quickly grabbed the bottle of pain killers, stuffing it into his pocket. _Better to be safe than sorry at my age, _he thought.

* * *

><p>Cal was thankful that the morning was light and he was able to focus on research and paperwork in his study. He rubbed his eyes wearily. He hadn't found his glasses but had managed to borrow a spare pair from one of the staff in accounting. Unfortunately the prescription was slightly off and he now found himself with a raging headache.<p>

There was a soft knock against the doorframe and he looked up to find Gillian leaning against the entry way. She looked absolutely stunning today in a deep burgundy dress tailored to hug every curve. The sexiness of her long legs was further accentuated by a pair of black patent leather heels and he couldn't help but let his eyes linger on her toned thighs.

"Are you ready?" she asked.

"I'm sorry?"

"The meeting with the new clients Cal? Don't tell me you forgot already?" she frowned her disappointment.

"No, no…sorry. I've just got a splitting headache. I'm ready." He rose from the couch, noting that the ache in his back was returning as well.

"If you're not feeling up to it, I'm sure Torres and I can handle it." Her frown turned to concern as she put a hand on his arm.

"Nah? Just let me take some aspirin and I'm ready to go." He went to his desk and grabbed a bottle of water, pulling the container from his pocket and popping two pills into his mouth.

"Those don't look like aspirin Cal," Gillian chastised.

"Well, it's a really bad headache. Trust me Gillian, these are like candy. Hardly affect me at all." He tossed the vial in his top drawer.

"Fine, but I'm taking the lead on this one. You can observe and make sure their motivations for hiring us really are for security and not something we really don't want to be tied up in," she insisted.

"Alright, mum. Besides," he growled, "I like it when you're on top."

She rolled her eyes and headed for the door.

He followed closely behind, finding it impossible not to look at her gently swaying hips.

* * *

><p>Cal watched Gillian as she slowly dissected their prospective client. He couldn't help but feel a stab of pride as the representative of their latest Multinational client squirmed in the seat across from her.<p>

As the interview progressed, Cal began to become aware of a tingling heat that had settled in his groin. The sensation was far from unpleasant, but also far from appropriate, given their current situation. He shifted in his seat and realized that it only made matters worse. He seemed to have developed a heightened awareness of the stiff denim of his jeans rubbing against his cock through his briefs. He was relieved that his lower half was hidden by the conference table as there was no doubt in his mind that he was now sporting a raging erection.

He noticed that Gillian was wrapping up the interview and she and their new client stood and shook hands. Cal shifted uncomfortably but did not rise. He extended his hand across the table as Gillian shot him a puzzled frown.

"Look forward to doing business with your company Mr. Hughes. Our people will be in touch with your people and all that. Dr. Foster can show you out," he said, concluding the meeting in no uncertain terms.

"Of course," Gillian gestured toward the door and followed their departing client, turning to shoot daggers at Cal with her eyes before disappearing into the hallway.

Cal hurriedly made his way to the door, untucking his shirt in an attempt to disguise his current state of tumescence. He made sure there was a clear line to his office and then quickly shot across the hall, shutting his door firmly behind him.

Once in his office he went directly to his desk drawer where he removed the vial and squinted at the letters.

"Shit," he said aloud, just as the door to his office burst open to admit a fuming Gillian Foster. He quickly sat down, crossing his legs as he tried to hide his swollen groin.

"Do you mind telling me what in the hell that was all about, Cal?"She demanded, placing her hands on her hips.

"What? I thought you were brilliant."

"Those people are big money for us Cal, you could have at least been a bit more cordial. What the hell is wrong with you?" She made it obvious that she wasn't leaving until she got an explanation.

"Nothing's wrong Foster, I just thought you had it covered. Besides, it was quite obvious he was more interested in your…assets, than he was in anything else in the room," he tried.

She rolled her eyes, "Please Cal. Do you really think you're going to shake me off with a few compliments? How long have we known each other? Tell me what's going on."

Cal rolled his options around in his mind. Perhaps honesty really was the best policy. Besides, it would be interesting to see her reaction. Without a word, he handed her the vial.

"What is this?" she squinted at the letters. "Oh my God, you DIDN'T." An amused smile crept over her features.

"I couldn't find my glasses this morning. I thought it was pain killers."

"You took two Viagra? Wait, why do you have Viagra in the first place?" The words tumbled out before she could stop them and she blushed.

He squinted at her and smiled, "Purely recreational purposes, love. She was young and it was a _very_ long weekend."

"You're disgusting." She tossed the bottle back at him but made no move to go.

He studied her. "Oh, you don't really think that. In fact, I think you're a bit curious."

"I don't know what you're talking about." She forced herself to meet his eyes, keeping her features non reactive.

"Alright then, perhaps I'm wrong." He casually uncrossed his legs and stood up slowly, watching as her eyes shot immediately to obvious erection which strained at the buttons of his fly. He felt a fresh wave of arousal as she licked her lips and swallowed involuntarily.

She said nothing but forced her eyes back up to meet his. She felt her face burning and uncontrollable warmth began to form below her belly. He came around the desk slowly and she backed away without thought, not toward the door, but toward the entrance to the study.

"Aye aye, what's that Foster? I guess I _was _wrong. That's definitely not curiosity I'm reading on you right now, love." He continued to stalk her across the room.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She wished her voice didn't sound so weak. Her back abruptly came to rest against the wall and she put her hands up to stop his advance. Even so, he stopped uncomfortably close.

"Oh, I think you do." He reached out a hand and trailed the back of his knuckles along the underside of her jaw. Her eyes fluttered closed and she exhaled in a drawn out sigh as he traced his fingers slowly down her long neck before bringing them to rest against her pulse point. Her skin fluttered beneath his fingertips as her heart raced.

She drew a shuddering breath and opened her eyes. "Cal…" she breathed, unable to find any other words at the moment.

"You know, I was warned that there could be serious consequences if I stay like this for too long," he growled, leaning forward to plant a soft kiss against her neck.

She twined her fingers in his hair, anchoring him against her skin as her mouth sought his earlobe. "That would be horrible. Maybe we should try to do something about it, purely for medical reasons of course" She drew the sensitive skin between her teeth. He pressed into her with a throaty gasp and she could feel the rock hard evidence of his arousal between them.

He reached to his side without looking and slid the door to the study closed, flicking the latch to ensure their privacy. Without another word he sought her mouth and she opened to him, moving her hands to frame his face as her fingers trembled against his jaw.

His tongue was the smoothest velvet as he sought entrance and she met his intrusion into her mouth with open invitation as his lips danced across her own, nipping and sucking at the already swollen flesh.

Her hands wanted to be everywhere at once and there was no time to think; no time to breath as she felt his hands reach for the zipper at the back of her dress, tugging impatiently.

She reached shaking hands for the front of his jeans as she pushed up the fabric of his shirt. His hands froze at her back and he groaned deep in his throat as she brushed roughly against his erection.

"You want to be _very _careful with that, darling. You have no bloody idea how that feels at the moment," he breathed against her mouth. He slowly slid her dress from her shoulders. It pooled just above her hips and he pushed it down taking her panties with it.

Cal bent to help her as she stepped out of the garment. She was suddenly very aware of being almost completely undressed in front of her partner and fought the urge to cover herself as he straightened. One look at the naked hunger in his eyes, however and her only thought was that he definitely had far too much clothing on. He was holding her black lace panties in his hand and he brought them to his nose, inhaling deeply before tossing them in the pile with the rest of her clothes. The incredibly erotic gesture sent heat shooting straight through her sex and she reached for him, pulling him back into her arms as she pushed frantically at his shirt and drew it over his head.

"You smell absolutely delicious, darling." His voice was pure arousal as he lowered his head to her neck, feasting on the luscious expanse of her smooth skin. He moved his head to her breast as he reached behind her to unclasp her bra. He tugged the strap from her shoulders, letting the flimsy collaboration of lace and boning fall to the floor.

She arched her back as Cal drew her nipple into his mouth, his gentle suckling rhythm further intensifying the pounding pulse between her thighs.

Her soft cries of delight made his cock throb almost painfully and he gently pushed his jeans and briefs down his thighs and stepped out of them, careful to avoid contact with his aching erection. He continued his attention to her beautifully full breasts, giving each its due worship as her hands clutched at his back and shoulders.

He reached a hand down and stroked it over her soft belly, feeling her muscles bunch beneath his touch. He moved lower, stroking through her sparse curls before pressing against her thigh, urging her to widen her stance.

She moved without thinking, parting her legs as his insistent fingers swept between her slick folds. He brushed against her clit and a bolt of electricity shot through her. Her hips bucked involuntarily against his palm as he cupped her mound.

She was so deliciously wet and slick that he had no trouble sliding two fingers into the softness of her tight pussy. He straightened and focused on her beautiful face. He curled his fingers within her and pressed the heel of his palm against her body, watching as she tossed her head back and forth in pleasure at his touch. He moved a hand to the back of her neck and supported her head as he forced her to look at him while he drove her higher and higher.

She bit her lip and swallowed the cries that threatened to burst from her lips even though she was barely conscious of anything at the moment except the intensely delightful sensations Cal was causing in her body. Heat coursed from every limb straight toward the point at which he made contact with her. The pressure against her clit was just right and she circled her hips against his palm in an unconscious rhythm as she strove toward the elusive edge of release.

Cal could tell she was close. He pulled away from her and her eyes flew open in shock and disappointment. "I'm sorry love, I'm a selfish bastard but when I make you come for the first time, I want to be inside you." He leaned into her and his erection brushed against her soft curls, causing him to freeze immediately.

"Couch," he said from between gritted teeth when he had regained a modicum of control over his body.

They stumbled across the room, tangled in each other's limbs as he resumed kissing her. He sat down on the edge of the couch and leaned back, tugging at her hips as she straddled his lap. She raised herself up on her knees and he very carefully positioned himself at her entrance. He held on with everything he had as the moist velvet heat of her body closed around him and she moaned sweetly in the back of her throat as he filled her.

He wrapped his arms around her tightly to still her movements as he gathered himself, desperate to hold on for a least a little while. As she began to roll her hips slowly against him, however, it was clear that his body had other plans. He tried to think about anything other than the impossible softness stroking rhythmically against his overly sensitized member, breathing in sharp pants as his fingers dug into her skin.

His best efforts were no use against the overwhelming onslaught of pleasure created by their bodies moving against one another. With a strangled, "FUCK!" he thrust against her as he came with an intensity that stole his breath. He threw his head back against the couch, shuddering violently beneath her as the waves of his orgasm ebbed and peaked over and over in an impossibly drawn out release that felt as if it would never end.

Gillian leaned forward and held his trembling body in her arms. She'd never been with a man who had come so intensely. She assumed the drug must be partly to blame, but the effect left her breathless and desperately craving her own release. Finally Cal opened his eyes and looked at her with a dazed expression. His hand reached up to stroke her face and she knew she couldn't conceal her disappointment from him.

"I'm so sorry, love" he breathed, "it was just too much."

"It's alright," she lied, kissing his moist forehead as she brushed her fingers through his hair. She shifted slightly and realized with a start that he was still completely hard inside of her. "Cal, you're still…" she gasped.

"Welcome to Viagra, darling," he grinned. "Just give me a minute to catch my breath eh? I took twice the normal dose earlier and the effect was rather…more intense that I expected," he panted.

She took his face between her palms and kissed him, gently this time, working her mouth slowly against his. His hands trailed lazily up and down her back and she began to move against him; just tiny movements to start, but she concentrated on the sensation of his cock sliding slowly in and out of her as she used her inner muscles to tighten herself around him. She trailed her lips across his jaw as she began to rise and fall in higher and higher arcs with agonizing slowness. His breath, which had begun to calm, now rasped against her ear in harsh pants as his body responded.

She raised herself up until he almost slipped from her body and then drove down on him hard, their bodies colliding roughly. As she rose again, he thrust his hips up to meet her downstroke and they set up a slow rhythm that filled the air with the flat sound of flesh smacking against flesh. She trembled with each thrust, her breath leaving her in a harsh exhalation of pleasure. He grabbed onto her already bruised hips and held her in place, grinding his pelvic bone up into her clit as she writhed atop him in ecstasy.

Burying her face in his neck to muffle her cries, she rolled against him in a quick steady rhythm designed for maximum contact between her clit and his body. She found the edge and hovered at it, reluctant to end this all consuming pleasure.

She trembled against him and he felt his body gathering itself impossibly for a second orgasm. As she began to contract around him, he let go and stiffened as another wave of delight flooded his body. This one was less intense than the first but still forced the air from his lungs in a deep groan.

When he stiffened beneath her, she finally gave in to her body. Strong pulses of energy radiated out from her sex and traveled along each limb before rebounding back and forth until she was clinging to him tightly as she bit off a strangled cry.

Her limbs felt heavy and tiny aftershocks of pleasure continued to shake her body but she raised her head to look at him. His face was slack and his heavy lids remained closed. For a moment she thought he might have passed out, but his eyelids finally fluttered open and he gazed up at her with what she could only label complete and utter awe.

"Jesus, Gillian. That was…"he stroked the side of her face, "there really are no words, love."

"At least we seem to have taken care of your little problem." She shifted and noted that he had indeed softened and slipped from her body.

"Hey, watch it with the "l-word", darling, we men are a little sensitive when it comes to that." He put on an expression of mock- injury.

"Oh, I don't think you have anything to worry about there and you know it," she said playfully.

"You bet your ass," he growled.

"So how long are the effects of Viagra supposed to last?" she asked as she raised her eyebrows suggestively.

"Usually at least 6-8 hours. 'Course I took double the dose so really, I should probably keep you around as a precaution for the rest of the night just in case there are any further…side effects." His hand slipped around and ran over the smooth skin of her ass.

"Race you back to my place?"she said with a grin.

"Absobloodylutely, darling."

* * *

><p><strong>Oh My! Hope you enjoyed. Please leave a review if you have time!<strong>


End file.
